DIGGIN' FOR MY SANITY

I miss New York. I miss the family I created there. I miss going to my favorite restaurant alone and the people knowing my order, sometimes even twice a day. I miss gong to brunch with my girls and having the owner save our favorite cute little corner right at the bar. I miss the chaos on the streets – I even miss how they smell of garbage and the fact that if I wanted to walk out in sweat pants and not put together, well... that would be okay. I miss the subway performers and not having to worry about being quiet on public transportation. I miss my loud, deep belly laugh that I didn't a funny look for. I miss my girlfriends SO MUCH. I miss getting ready together, blasting music while shooting tequila before brunch and Ashley doing my hair. I miss our sleepovers and ridiculous Uber rides home, playing the same songs on repeat. I miss the confidence I had there. I remember one night going out in a mesh top without a bra, titties fully exposed, and not once did anyone look at me like I was unstable bc after all, nothing is too crazy in New York City. * long sigh*

It's been over a year now since i've been able to go home and I don't know if its bc I haven't had a choice bc of all this corona bullshit, but I'm more homesick now than ever. But I don't just miss New York in the way that tourists who have visited it once or twice in their lives. I left a huge part of myself there when I left and I'm really starting to miss the person I was there. Idk, maybe I just need a quick trip home to remember who the fuck I am and i'll be good.