Our week stay has come to an end here at my husband’s family’s cabin on the west coast of Norway. It’s a small, quiet and secluded place that sits directly on the ocean. There’s something so healing about being surrounded by the ocean. It’s pretty magical falling asleep and waking up to the sound of the waves crashing against the deck. It’s cold here - very cold, and the air is brisk. When you step outside and inhale, it’s the freshest breath of air you’ll ever take, or as my brother in-law would say, “it’s the definition of a breath of fresh air”. I’ve always been a person who enjoys dark, rainy days, in fact, I feel most at peace during those times, so being here around this time of year is especially nice for me. I feel like the last two years I’ve spent in Norway have been a nonstop rollercoaster - mentally, emotionally and physically. While I absolutely love my life in Norway, I often find myself comparing it to the life I was living in New York. I think reflecting on our “now” and comparing it to our lives pre-pandemic, has been hard for everyone. I think it has contributed to the times I’ve felt so stuck or unsettled. There is always the thought of “how easy everything could be if I just moved back to New York”. I would be lying if I didn’t say sometimes I feel torn between these thoughts and of who I am- a fighter who doesn’t believe in giving up.
A couple of nights ago my husband and I celebrated Thanksgiving. It was anything extravagant, but it was perfect. I made carrot soup with rice and garlic bread, and we chased it down with some red wine. We talked about the things we were thankful for and he said a lot of meaningful things, things that made me tear up in the best possible way. It wasn’t until then that I realized I’m living the life I prayed for three years ago. Everything I wished for myself then is exactly where I am now. I’m living in a different country with the man that I love, learning about his culture, learning how to speak the Norwegian language, and trying to make a name for myself doing what I love. Of course nothing happens overnight but I find comfort in trusting that I am headed in the right direction. My life now may not be as easy and luxurious as it once was, but it is now filled with joy, love, happiness and (when I’m not battling my own thoughts) a sense of peace that I am immensely grateful for. There’s no place I’d rather be than where I am right now.
